Friday, May 22, 2009

My electronic personality...

I figured I should get back at this since I have sooo much to say...

Most of the talk shows I listen to use Friday's as the let your hair down day. So why not? I think that Friday is a good time to let it all out. So, for this week, I think I've decided to let the whole world know (or really the 1 person that reads this) about my personal pet-peeve for this past week.

This is dedicated to the many stores in our area that have those cursed alarm systems at their entries and exits. Apparently I have an electronic personality that rubs these alarm systems the wrong way. No, I do not have a sensor in my wallet, I don't always wear clothes from "Old Navy" and I doubt that my $4 bottle of hair gel (an oxymoron for me) is considered a high risk product - but EVERY TIME I WALK THROUGH THE DOORS I SET OFF THE ALARMS!

At this point in my life it's become more of a comedic occurrence rather than one of embarrassment. There is nothing like walking into your local HyVee and setting off the alarms and having the bag-boys and girls look your direction. I feel like I should walk over to the nearest wall and spread my arms and legs for search. I can't wait, however, to have an employee chase me through their parking lot and search my grocery bag for that flat screen TV I must have hidden. "No, those are diapers, and that's a can of formula. Let's see, the TV must be hidden in my back pocket. It's a smaller model - but you should see the resolution..." What does HyVee sell that requires an alarm system? Are they worried you'll walk out with a freezer? I can just see the headlines, "Man Steals Freezer Filled with Hashbrowns and Canned Orange Juice." There would be a picture of me running through their parking lot trying to load it into the back of my Honda Civic.

I think, in reality, my favorite part is the reaction you get from the employee at any given store. You say "I set off your alarms coming in..." which is usually followed by a very blank stare and then, "huh?" or my favorite "oh, that happens all the time." Which tells you a lot about the success-rate and effectiveness of the alarms.

So I'll gladly take your suggestions for what I should do. I like the idea of going completely spread-eagle on the nearest wall or maybe I should just turn and run as fast as I can screaming through the parking lot. Unfortunately, the Civic doesn't really peel-out, but the motor screaming like an overworked lawnmower might be effective.

In any case - I think I feel better and am ready to tackle my next experience!

Until next time...

2 comments:

Unknown said...

Maybe you should stop trying to steal those pretzels...the ultimate Bible Study food... ;-)

Uranium194 said...

I always like how you set off the alarms and 9/10 times the checkout person just says, "It's ok" I must have forgotten to clear the tag".....hummmm could be advantageous.
(Ray Z)